Hamlet 2

Hamlet 2 is the dumb mindless comedy you might expect from a movie with the plot of making a sequel production of one of the greatest plays. It features tunes such as Raped in the Face and Rock Me Sexy Jesus all the while the acting hopeful, Dana Marschz (Steve Coogan), teaches his students the beauty of drama. However, this movie accomplishes its goal: to make the viewer laugh. Coogan's antics kept me laughing even through this absurd plot. Coogan delivers a hilarious proformance and singlehandedly puts this movie on his back to revive its poor plot to a respectable comedy.

Rating: 52

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A Year In Review...Your Class of 2008

http://jandhreviews.blogspot.com/search/label/2008

The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight was the best film of the year. It consisted of two brilliant proformances by Christian Bale and Heath Ledger while Morgan Freeman and Aaron Eckhart both added to the film in their own way. The characters seem so real in your mind the entire movie that it is not until you take a step back that you realize that the plot is far fetched. All that being said and I may be commiting heresy when I say this but I beleive Batman Begins was the better of the two films purley because Maggie Gyllenhaal is such a downgrade from Katie Holmes. If your one of the few Americans who hasn't seen either don't just rent it, hit up Best-Buy to grab both a 56 inch screen and this DVD or wait until it comes back right before Oscar season because a small screen, or dare I say laptop, does not do it justice.

Rating: 91

Pineapple Express

The highly anticipated stoner classic does not disappoint. Pineapple Express gives us memorable scenes and quotes through the journey of a process server and a weed dealer as they try runaway from an apprehensive drug boss. This film gives the modern generation their own version of Cheech & Chong. Movie viewers, "you've been served."

Rating: 79

Be Kind Rewind

Jack Black typically delivers a decent movie every other attempt....this sadly is not one of those gems. Black and Mos Def team up for one of this years worst comedies and it is barely watchable. They are able to take a $20,000,000 dollar budget and turn it into a film that, like the ones they continuously create throughout the film, looks like it could be made with a camcorder. They are also able to make an hour and 41 minutes seem like a liftime as this film drags on. The laughs were few and thinking back almost nonexistent but if your a huge Jack Black fan you might be able to salvage a few chuckles. Rather than being kind and rewinding, be happy and do not watch.

Rating: 19

The Bank Job

The Bank Job is a cross between Snatch and Oceans Eleven. Roger Donaldson takes a Guy Ritchie-type approach with Guy Ritchie's right hand man, Jason Statham. Statham takes his traditional bad-ass bitch fuckin' approach in this year's most underrated movie.

Rating: 81

The Counterfeiters

Released in 2008 in the U. S. of A., The Counterfeiters is a German film about a man with a talent to counterfeit money. After getting arrested he sets up a camp to print Pounds for the Germans. Although not the best film of the year it maintains an interesting plot. It's a short hour and 40 minutes if you get around to it but if you miss it you're not missing much. The only downside is it's in the disgusting German language and it can get boring at times.

Plus this is America so fuck off Nazi cunts...

Rating: 59

In Bruges

In Bruges was one of those movies that wasn't hilarious, wasn't action packed, and wasn't informative. But it was extremely entertaining. It featured a porn star, midget, a small European town, and two brilliant performance by Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson. Yes, I said a midget and a porn star.

Rating: 72

WALL-E

WALL-E failed to impress me. It was like expecting a fine aged wine and getting a warm beer. It served its purpose of entertaining but I was used to expecting more from Pixar. The storyline was nothing special and although Pixar tried they just couldn't connect me with a lonely robot. That being said the animation was astonishing and the 5 minute clip before the movie involving a magician was hilarious.

Rating: 69

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Jay Roach's Austin Powers: I.M.M. is one of the most memorable and quotable movies of the 90s. Mike Myers's has the ability to make every scene funny and does so in this film. This movie put Mike Myers's alongside of the likes of Benny Hill, Eddie Murphy, Sasha Baron Cohen and Chris Lilley with their skill of portraying multiple characters in a single film. However, this film may have died with the 90s, just like Mike Myers's career. (He'll make a comeback eventually.)

Rating: 72

Finding Nemo

Finding Nemo has already established itself as a great movie that is considered brilliant by all ages. In a recent poll, 67% of people who have seen this film were sexual aroused by it. Plus the sex scene at the end really captures the essence of love. 

Rating: 92

The Scale

The patented world class J & H scaling system is based on three genre three film system:

Drama:
The Godfather is 100
Rocky III is 50
Gigli is 0

Comedy:
Caddyshack is 100
Fletch is 50
Date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie and pretty much every "movie" made by those retards is 0.

Action:
Die Hard is 100
I Am Legend is 50
Babylon A.D. is 0

Thats it. Everything else falls in between.

The Departed

The Departed is unquestionably the best movie made in the 21st century. Plus crackers get shot in the face.

Rating: 96

Tropic Thunder

Tropic Thunder is a movie filled with one liners and outrageous overacting. With an all-star cast, the film maintains a funny tone for it's entirety. It was also very amusing seeing Robert Downey Jr. and Tom Cruise acting outside their "serious movie" spheres. If I had only sat though the first 10 minutes of the movie I would have been perfectly happy because of the hilarious PHONY TRAILERS that are shown at the beginning of the film. Jack Black's The Fatties: Fart 2 had to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen. 

Rating: 68

Cloverfield

Cloverfield takes the basic "godzillian" plot that has been pounded so deeply into the ground starting with 1925's The Lost World and coming up to the modern era with The Host yet manages to turn it into an origional film. The film which is shot in first person home movie mode gives us one man's view of a monster's attack on New York City. This combination of Godzilla and Escape From New York reveals something suprisingly fresh. The only drawback to this film is you may experience a minor headache due to the camera angels and excessive special effects.

Rating: 58

Role Models

Hit after hit R-rated comedies have come out in drones starting back in 2003 with the hit Old School and peaking with 2007's Superbad. However, this string of movies may have run its course and exhibit A of that is Role Models. Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott play their typical selves which the public is getting tired of seeing. This is compounded by a poor plot and even worse jokes such as:

Honky wanted a fistful of my balls!

The bottom line: Skip this one over and hope it was just a fly in the ointment of comedies.

Rating: 25

Lesbian Vampire Killers... really?

This is most likely going to be one of the worst movies of all time, but I might rate it well if there are some nice girl on girl scenes. 

CHECK IT OUT HERE.

Dodgeball

Dodgeball is a comedy filled with one liners... by Ben Stiller. Ben Stiller is the core behind this movie being funny. The movie's humorous, but ridiculous plot can only take it so far and as it nears the end, it relies on Ben Stiller's comedic performance to maintain it's hilarity.

Rating: 49

Black Dynamite

Black Dynamite is a badass mother-fucka who won't take shit from anyone. He'll be making his debut in 2009 in Scott Sander's 60's and 70's spoof Black Dynamite. All comments about this film must be good... Black Dynamite will "karate chop your dick off" if you even think about posting something negative. Here's the TRAILER. 

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is not a film easily forgotten as the loveless made for TV musician Peter Bretter (Segel) delivers memorable quote after memorable quote. Segel travels alone to Hawaii to escape his ex-girlfriend Sarah Marshall (Bell) only to encounter that she has made her way there with playboy rockstar Aldous Snow (Brand). It is one of those rare romantic comedies that actually keeps you laughing from start to end while not letting the romantic aspect of the storyline slip too far away. This movie is the premier R-rated comedy of 2008.
Plus Mila Kunis and Kristen Bell and pretty fucking hot.

Rating: 81

Shaun of the Dead

Edgar Wright surprisingly created a successful parody of the Dawn of the Dead movies with his Shaun of the Dead. Featuring a duo of hilarious brits, the movie mixes highbrow and lowbrow humor to make a non-stop laugh, thriller from start to finish. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost create a team of hooligans who guarantee hilarity in any movie they star in.

Rating: 73

Pootie Tang

Pootie Tang is one of ths most under appreciated comedies of this era. Louis C.K.'s production is complete with a protagonist that doesn't speak English and whose catch phrase is, "Sa Da Tay." However, he is one cool motherfucker and a role model for the children. Equipt with hilarious dialogue and memorable characters, Pootie Tang is a cult film that many fail to appriciate. Although not looking to win any awards Louis C.K. delivers a comedy worth seeing.

Rating: 51

Clerks

On a $27,000 budget , Kevin Smith was able to create a comedic masterpiece. The Quick Stop became much more than a work place as Kevin Smith would use it as the setting for his cinematic debut. Clerks set the standard for dry humor and also developed two unforgettable characters known as the stoners Jay and Silent Bob that have became household names after having recurring roles in the majority of Smith's movies.

Rating: 77

Zoolander

I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

Rating: 72

Charlie Bartlett

John Poll had the potential to make Charlie Bartlett into a great movie, but failed as the audience was unable to find Charlie's antics believable. The film starts to lose direction at one point early in the film and retains little of humor and emotion. Moviegoers are unable to establish a connection with the main character, which prevents the development of sympathy.

Rating: 35

Ratatouille

Pixar Animation Studios has created another great with Ratatouille. Patton Oswalt voices a lovable little rat that turns into a spectacular character who makes his way into the heart of all viewers. Impaired by his lack of cooking ability, cooking apprentice Linguini must face turning to an unexpected hero for the source of his skills. Ratatouille is one of those films that can be admired by people of all ages.

Rating: 89

Fight Club

Considered one of the best movies of the 90's, the combination of Brad Pitt and Edward Norton in Fight Club produces a dazzling motion picture. David Fincher directs a complex story line to perfection and leaves the audience baffled until the end of the movie. Moviegoers cannot help but to admire this brilliant film after discovering the true psychological ploys.

Plus, Brad Pitt = Total Hottie. When his shirt came off for the first time I almost ruined a good pair of underwear. 

Rating: 91

Knocked Up

Judd Apatow's Knocked Up pleasantly combines raunchy humor with a strong plot. The movie mixes moments of pure hilarity and strong emotions which produces a comedic great. Seth Rogen's crudeness counters Katherine Heigl's sweetness and creates a entertaining duo. 

Rating: 83 

Netflix

Note: THIS IS NOT A MOVIE REVIEW.

Netflix is the best source for movie buffs to constantly view his favorite titles and watch new ones. Netflix also has a new feature called Instant that allows a subscriber to view as many on demand movies as they offer (10,000) on their computer, xbox 360, or other supported device.

My Advice: Dump Blockbuster and On-Demand and pick up Netflix.

Dumb and Dumber

The Farrely Brothers's 1994 hit Dumb and Dumber established Jim Carrey as one of the funniest actors of the 90's. This movie has the special ability to allow children and adults laugh throughout it's entirety. The idiotic duo of Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels create a comedy that has yet to be surpassed and will maintain it's place in movie history.

Rating: 85

El Laberinto del fauno

I can't decide the most impressive part of the film: the CGI work, the captivating direction by Guillermo del Toro, the screenplay, or the impressive acting by 12 year old Ivana Baquero. Del Toro's fairy tale set in Spain of 1944 creates a balance between dreams and torture, peace and war, and the imaginary and real. This may be the greatest movie ever filmed in the Spanish language.

Rating: 84

Burn After Reading

The Coen Brother's Burn After Reading was a hilarious satire that involves a spectacular cast. The combination of the overwhelming plot and hysterical created a comedy hit in 2008. Plus, seeing Brad Pitt get shot by George Clooney was amazing.

Note: It pails in comparison to their other classics including The Big Lebowski, No Country for Old Men, and Fargo.

Rating: 75

Iron Man

Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark may be the coolest cat to hit the big screen since Jon Faverau's (director) counterpart in Swingers, Vince Vaughn. Downey Jr. takes an average plot and screenplay and turns it into something special. This is a must see for avid teenage comicbook readers and married couples alike.

Rating: 82

Cidade de Deus

Yes, this movie is not in English. Yes, you will have to read subtitles unless your are fluent in Portuguese. However, this is a modern day masterpiece and although you may (and probably do not) know any of the actors, Fernando Meirelles is able to deliver what is possibly the film of the century as he takes you on one boys journey through the drug and crime ridden Brazilian City of God.

Rating: 94

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

As the "Clit Commanders" make their way through a crazy adventure, I found myself dying of laughter. Although most movies filled with constant swear words seem to lose their humor, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back kept me laughing the entire time. Kevin Smith used crude jokes and funny situations to create a movie that was a hit for all adolescents.

Rating: 53

Zack and Miri Make A Porno

Kevin Smith strikes again with this film that could even make Joseph Stalin crack a smile. Smith escapes from his typical features which include the notoriously funny Jay and Silent Bob and replaces them with a handful of characters that the average man or woman can relate to. Rogen and Banks give it their all as they agree to act out Smith's raunchy scenes. Although not the best present for mother's day and you pray your grandma overlooks this film, it serves as a perfect gift for your college buds or companion.

Rating: 72

Yes Man

Peyton Reed's attempt at a comedy hit with Yes Man in 2008 proved fruitless. Even Jim Carrey's comedic genius was unable to save this movie from becoming a blunder. My facial expressions throughout the film resembled a man's face during a bad hand-job.

Rating: 15

Valkyrie

Bryan Singer's Valkyrie was an exciting film that kept the audience rooting for Claus von Stauffenberg's (Cruise) attempt the whole time. Even a basic high school history class would spoil the ending as this failed assassination of Hitler proves futile. The story of the unsuccessful murder is as easily forgotten as Tom Cruise's career.

Also, Tom Cruise is a complete tool.

Rating: 39

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

You saw the trailer, drove to the theater, and threw down $75 dollars by the end of the night to see a movie you believed was a true "film made for critics." You checked into the 7:05 show and got comfortable knowing you were not going to come close to making the 10 o' clock news. You hoped the film set you up perfectly to rail your companion by the time you pulled back into your driveway at 10:30, another wasted night appeasing to the society that forces us to make an attempt to watch the Oscar contenders. Your last hope at being entertained throughout the movie was the thought of Brad Pitt reemerging with an appearance that rivaled the characters Tyler Durder and Jeffrey Goines. However, Benjamin Button was in an entirely new category of movie combining the epic tale of Forest Gump with a magical touch rivaling that of Pan's Labyrinth. Pitt gives a captivating proformance as he transforms backwards through life while his counterpart Cate Blanchette matches his proformance. They continually play the part of foil to their counterpart while keeping the viewer enthralled. This film not only turned out to be enjoyable, it was borderline epic even for the casual moviegoer. It's only flaw was its hubris which is expressed through it's excessive length causing occasional lulls.

Rating: 85

The Spirit

Warning: If you are suicidal, do not see Frank Miller's The Spirit.

I went to the movie with the hopes of being impressed by the visual effects, but the retardation of the plot ruined any possibility of enjoyment. I'd rather sit home and cry with a bottle of Jose Cuervo then see this movie again.

Rating: 7 (Eva Mendes's ass is the reason it deserved any points at all.)